Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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