when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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