If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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