We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize