There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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