Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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