He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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