it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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