I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
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I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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