Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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