just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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