Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness Iβm a YouTube star
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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