so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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