So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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