I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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