i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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