He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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