I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize