I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize