So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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