There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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