yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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