Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize