listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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