From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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