I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize