I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize