pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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