Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize