This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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