The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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