somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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