I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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