i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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