The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize