There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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