I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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