I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize