bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize