And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
is it fun? or sober?
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