I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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