i wish starbucks made bloody marys
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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