I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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