She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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