I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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