Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Green mimosas i think yes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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