i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize