Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize