Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
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That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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