dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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